The Unglamorous Side Of Solo Travel That No One is Talking About

The glossy photos don’t show the jet lag, the missed connections, or the quiet nights when you’re not sure where to eat. We’re opening the guidebook to the pages most people skip and exploring five unglamorous truths about solo travel that can actually make your journey richer: the physical toll of transit, plans that unravel, waves of loneliness, decision fatigue, and the pressure to perform for social media. None of these are dealbreakers. With the right mindset and a few practical tools, they become the parts of the trip that teach you the most.

I share how I build buffer days to recover from long-haul flights, why flexible itineraries beat rigid spreadsheets, and the small rituals that turn solitude into nourishment—journaling, reading, music, and low-stakes social plans like walking tours or cooking classes. We talk about designing “zero days” and “minimal days” to reset your brain, ditching the urge to “see it all,” and creating simple defaults that cut through choice overload. We also unpack the pressure to capture flawless selfies and how batching photos—or sharing later—protects your attention for what matters: the people you meet, the neighborhoods you drift through, and the moments you can’t stage.

There’s a reality check too. Expectations shaped by edited images can set you up for disappointment, like the famous view that’s grayer than your feed. I revisit Rainbow Mountain as a case study in embracing the journey when the postcard doesn’t match the sky. The takeaway isn’t to lower your standards; it’s to widen them. Let the detours count. Let the small wins land. Let gratitude keep you grounded when plans bend. If you’ve been craving a more honest, sustainable approach to solo travel, this conversation will help you prepare, adapt, and savor the road you’re on.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who’s planning a trip, and leave a review—what truth about solo travel has taught you the most?

Chapters

• 0:00 Dreaming Of Picture-Perfect Trips
• 0:57 Meet Cheryl And The Episode Setup
• 2:11 Why The Journey Matters More
• 2:29 Ugly Truth #1: Physical Toll
• 6:16 Ugly Truth #2: Plans Go Sideways
• 7:42 Ugly Truth #3: Solo Loneliness
• 9:13 Ugly Truth #4: Decision Fatigue
• 12:30 Ugly Truth #5: Social Media Pressure
• 15:35 Reframing Expectations And Mindset
• 18:06 Rainbow Mountain And The Reality Check
• 19:37 Final Encouragement To Savor The Journey

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

How many of you dream of going to certain places and maybe even keep pictures of that place? You've cut them out of a magazine or you've saved them on Instagram. Well, we often, when we are thinking about traveling somewhere, we only focus on the end result or the end game, meaning meaning the place that we're going. We picture this beautiful place, this wonderful experience with all these just excitement about going. And we dream of seeing those beautiful Instagram-worthy, perfect moments and places. But there is an unglamorous side to travel that no one really talks about. And so there are five that I have run across that are I would consider sort of the ugly truths about traveling solo that no one wants to talk about. Welcome to Solo Travel Adventures. I'm Cheryl Esche, your host and solo travel advocate for women. We all dream of those beautiful places. I'm with you on that. I keep a list, I keep a spreadsheet actually of just various places that I've come across through other travel influencers and content creators out there that just places, some of the places I hadn't even thought about going. And so it's great to get ideas from those kind of sources, from social media and from hearing from other people's experiences. But when it comes down to the reality of it and us actually going to those places, well, there's a whole nother side that we often miss or maybe we just want to ignore because it's not the fun part. It's not the beautiful, glamorous part of the actual travel experience. And we're all about the travel experience. And that is totally fine because we get a lot out of the experience or the kind of the destination that you're going to. But I believe there's a lot more that we can learn about ourselves through the journey of getting there. And even with some of these ugly truths, I'm calling them, or pitfalls that you will find, uh, they are teaching us something along the way. So don't miss these. Obviously, number one, one of the things you often forget about, just like if you are a woman and you've had you've birthed a child, they we often forget about those birthing pains after the first child, and we some reason are crazy enough to do it again and maybe again and again, right? And we forget about that because of the beauty that happens at the other side. And I feel like travel is often that way. The actual uh physical transportation of your traveling to get to your destination reminds me of those birthing pains and the delivery pain that you might have and all that you go through to get to that beautiful endpoint. And so traveling, one of the things we often forget about is the physical toll that it takes on our bodies. And I'm especially thinking, you know, when I was in my 20s, it didn't bother me as much to, you know, crash in the airport or sleep in a hostel with noisy neighbors. And now, as I am in my 50s, the physical toll on my body with traveling in general uh really um wrecks havoc, I guess, just on my um whole well-being. You know, it messes up, hate to be blunt here, but it messes up my bowel movements. I'm sure it does for you too. Um, it messes up my sleep, right? We have jet leg that we're probably dealing with depending on time zone changes that we're um, you know, dealing with. But long flights in general, again, depending where you're going, they just can be fatiguing. You're in cramped seats, you're dealing with various passengers beside you that may or may not be um, you know, just thoughtful or respectful. I just think of my last uh flight just a week or so ago where the kid would not stop kicking the back of my seat. So you got to deal with those kind of things. And then you're just tired and fatigued, and you're probably hungry as well. So therefore, when you're hungry, you have less patience. And so the physical toll can really kind of wreak havoc on you. And even the timing of your flights may not be optimal. For example, maybe you're not a morning person like myself, but the only flight you can get is this 5:30 a.m. flight, and you get up anyways, right? Because I don't know, I'll do that for travel. I won't do that for work. So, so the timing of flights, or maybe uh there's delays and unexpected cancellations of flights, that is always bound to happen. And so that can put a little damper on your travels, it can extend that quote unquote travel day for you, which again kind of adds more to that body fatigue that you might have to be dealing with. Long lines at the airport. Now, if you're driving, um, you know, you're probably sitting for long stretches at at a time to get to your destination. So the physical toll on the body, who it takes me, I need a I need at least a day to kind of recover. And if I can, I'll take two to recover after a long trip. Um, if it's domestic, a day's fine. If it's international, where there's several hours of time difference, I likely need at least a day and a half, maybe two to recover from that physically. My physical body needs to recover and kind of get back into sync of my regular routine. We don't think about that because we're so focused on that end destination. So, yes, it is worth it once we get there. And we're often very anxious to, you know, get to our destination, but also to get home at the same time. So, number two, that your travel never goes as planned. Yes, that is so true. And if you are a someone that plans to the minute, your itinerary, everything is planned, you have a spreadsheet, or even if you've planned even some of your stuff, I can guarantee you it's never gonna go as planned. And things can go sideways. Your expectations may not be met because of things going sideways, and you'll be frustrated and maybe even angry at that fact. You might even get sick and therefore really having to adapt your travels and it not going as planned, of course. I have a great episode, episode 119, that actually specifically talks about um unmet travel expectations and how to deal with them. So if you want to go back and listen to that, I talk, I dive deep into you know how to address these unexpected, you know, uh plans and your met your idea of a trip not being met and how to deal with that disappointment. So go back and listen to that. It was actually a really good one, and it will help you get through this point, number two, that your travel will never go as planned. It'll mentally prepare you for that. All right. Number three, as a solo traveler, you can get lonely. It is true. Um, and have I experienced loneliness when traveling? Sure. I don't necessarily let myself wallow in it, but there are times when you will feel lonely. And this is something, there is something to be said that you can cherish a moment when you share it with somebody, and you can share that experience and create a memory with them. I love that, and I think that actually uh connects or draws people closer together when they do have these shared experiences in travel. But it's not always possible, and there are some perks to traveling solo, but one of the downfalls and the ugly truths about solo travel, we make it think this, oh, it's so wonderful, we have all this freedom, we can do whatever we want. Um, I can go when I want, I can sleep in, and I can make my own plans. But the reality is there's going to be moments when you are lonely. And it could be because it's nightfall, and maybe you don't feel safe going out by yourself at night. That is often the case that I hear, or you don't feel comfortable going out to eat by yourself. So then you just kind of feel lonely in the process, or maybe you do go out to eat by yourself and you're still sitting there feeling kind of lonely and you know, maybe depressed. I would make sure from a mental standpoint, if you are traveling solo, that you prepare for those moments and ask yourself, what would I do to combat that loneliness? What are some things that I can do so when it comes upon me, I can negate that feeling and not sit in and wallow in it? Uh, one thing I do is I love to journal and I love to read. So when it comes to, you know, maybe I'm at a place and I find myself alone in my whatever my hotel room or my accommodations that I've chosen and have nothing to do, that I will sit and write in my journal or I'll do some catch up on some reading. And sometimes I also just listen to music and just kind of settle into that quiet time. And so that helps me uh kind of not sit in the loneliness or be sad that I didn't have somebody to share this with. But number four, believe it or not, when you travel, whether you travel solo, especially when you travel solo, you will run across what's called dis decision fatigue. And that is a true thing, especially if you are traveling for an extended period of time where you have to constantly be making decisions. Decisions like where to eat, what to see, how to get from point A to point B, that's a huge one. And it is exhausting, I will be honest. And so when I go through my, if I'm doing an extended travel uh trip, I will actually have what they call in hiking zero days and or minimal days, meaning you either do nothing for one day, completely nothing, don't sightsee, just kind of live, still go out to get something to eat, maybe sit at a park, but don't make plans. You can also just kind of minimize um what you do. And what I've also come to accept with because of decision fatigue is that I have told myself I no longer stress about seeing everything when I'm at a place. I think that creates overwhelm and decision fatigue as to what to do in the short amount of time you might have. So I don't stress about that anymore. I allow things to happen, and you know what? If I just do one thing on a day, I'm I'm okay with that. And so you have to be okay with that. And because you're gonna otherwise you're gonna kind of burn yourself out, you're gonna be mentally fatigued with all the decisions that you're trying to make, and it's just exhausting. So give yourself some grace, give yourself some space and room just to be when you travel. Very important. And number five, and this is uh kind of going back to my intro where we think about capturing these moments, these Instagram-worthy moments, and then sharing the moments, like you know, posting and so people know what you're doing. And, you know, you have this pressure to do that and to be on, like you're having an amazing time. And there may be times when you're not having an amazing time, but you might still feel the pressure to post something to make it look like you're having a good time or that you're really enjoying what you're doing. And then even on top of that, if you're traveling solo, it is a bit challenging to capture good selfies. I will attest to that. Um, in some cases, I don't want to be bothered, so I don't worry about pulling out my my selfie stick or setting uh my tripod up for on a timer to capture something. On occasion, if if I find somebody that I feel like I could trust, or they ask me, can we take, you know, you want us to take your picture, then yes, I will let them. But, you know, I've seen some beautiful moments and thought, oh, if only I could capture myself kind of looking in this direction towards that mountain or whatever, and catch a side view or whatever. I I just I don't stress about that, and some people do, and for me, that's not my intent for traveling. Yes, I have this podcast about travel, I have a travel coaching program, but that is not my goal. I'm not a travel, you know, influencer, so to speak. And so capturing those moments to make it look all rainbows and fairy tales is not my thing. So, yes, I capture moments. They may not be the best pictures, I'll be honest. I'm not a photographer, and in some trips, I will post sometimes daily, or sometimes I'll just do a capture, a recap of the trip after I've gotten back. And you know, I just have had to release that pressure of sharing the moment in the moment and even capturing good selfies because when we're constantly focused on that being what we're doing on our trip, then the the travels become less about being in the moment and our experience at the time. So we're missing out really on just cherishing uh that time in that present moment and not thinking, oh, I gotta get this, oh, I gotta capture this, and kind of missing out on what is going on around you, possibly. So do you still want to travel after hearing all these ugly truths or unglamorous things about traveling, especially solo? Well, sure we do. Like I said in the beginning, I equate it to childbirth. You know, we all still want to do it despite um, you know, coming across. Maybe you've traveled and you agree with these, but maybe you haven't done any solo travel. And I don't want this to scare you, but I want to this to inform you that yes, the destination and us getting there is is beautiful, but don't miss the moments of your journey to get there. Don't be so focused or um allowing maybe that physical fatigue to make you miss moments. Just know this is what's happening, this is to be expected, right? So we're not caught off guard in those moments. But enjoy the moment is really what I'm getting at when you travel, despite um maybe coming across, you know, frustrating long lines or whatever it is, or maybe just the crowds of people that's kind of rubbing you the wrong way. I think travel teaches us many things about how we respond to these types of situations. Are we letting it get us stressed out and overwhelmed, or are we letting it roll off our backs and really just being open to what is going on around us, being gracious, and just I think just being grateful that you can be on your trip in the first place would be a great place to start if you find yourself in any of these five situations where um you're feeling like it's ruining your trip, and we really don't want that. We want uh I want your travel to be life-changing and your travel to be this experience that you can talk about for years and share with other people and have a positive um outlook and spin on your experience, despite maybe what you had to go through to get there. Well, sister travelers, I hope this uh episode really um kind of sheds light on the truth of maybe solo travel, but also encourages you to get out there and do have these experiences. And keep dreaming, ladies, keep dreaming about that place. Uh, just don't overfantasize about it, I would say, because often we get a little disappointed uh when we get there. And my one of my examples I think of right now, just thought of, was uh when I was in Peru, I was encouraged to uh do Rainbow Mountain. And we did Rainbow Mountain, and you see all these pictures and you hear from other people um just how beautiful it was and exciting and all the hike, you know. And when we got there, um the hike was very difficult, by the way. And we got to the top and the colors weren't as bright as I was expecting. Um and so I later found out that often, this was before I think AI was really big, by the way, that a lot of some of the pictures that I was seeing on the internet had been photoshopped to be a little brighter, to kind of heighten the colors. Uh they do something to the picture. So, yes, things can be disappointing, but they also can be, I mean, I have some, despite the the the view not being exactly what I thought it was gonna be at Rainbow Mountain, the the journey up the mountain and the journey down, and even some things in between, um, my son and I actually laugh about those moments more so than the view we saw at the top. So, again, don't miss the journey to your destination. Um, savor it.