Solo Travel Adventures: Safe Travel for Women, Preparing for a Trip, Overcoming Fear, Travel Tips

A Journey of Courage: One Woman's First Solo Trip to New Zealand with Leigh Barborek

• Cheryl Esch-Solo Travel Advocate/Travel Coach/Freedom Traveler • Season 3 • Episode 126

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Are you dreaming of taking a solo trip but feeling apprehensive? Join me as we delve into the inspiring journey of Leigh Barborek, who bravely faced her fears to travel solo to New Zealand for the very first time. From grappling with feelings of guilt and safety concerns to thrilling adventures and newfound independence, Leigh shares her heartfelt experiences and lessons learned. 

In this episode, we explore the emotional journey leading up to solo travel, including decision-making, planning, and the anticipation of exploring a beautiful new destination. Discover the poignant moments that illuminated Leigh's path, such as her daring kayaking excursion to Donut Island, where she embraced both excitement and uncertainty, ultimately transforming her canvas of fear into a masterpiece of adventure.

With Leigh’s stories and insights, you'll see that solo travel is not just about exploring new places—it's about rediscovering your strengths, navigating the unknown with confidence, and realizing that you are capable of so much more than you imagined. 

Whether you're a seasoned traveler or contemplating your first journey alone, there’s something to learn from Leigh's courage. Tune in to feel empowered, inspired, and ready to book your next adventure. Don't forget to subscribe, share this episode, and leave a review—let's encourage more voices to embrace their solo travel dreams!

Want to know how solo travel could change your outlook on life?  Book a call with me for one-on-one coaching for solo travel if you want guidance in planning your next solo adventure!

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Speaker 1:

Are you someone who's been sitting on the sidelines watching other people go on these solo adventures, these trips, wishing you could go but not mustering the courage? Or maybe you just have some fear that's holding you back from doing it? Well, I have a great example today with my guest. She is also a listener of this show, just like you, who took her first solo trip internationally very recently and is here to share what it was like, what her feelings were before, how she feels now, after she's actually taken that trip. Join the conversation I'm having with Leigh Barborek today and I am sure I can guarantee you will be just inspired to go ahead and book that first trip of your own.

Speaker 1:

Well, folks, I have an amazing guest today. I have Leigh Barboric. She is a longtime listener of the show, but she is going to share how she took her very first solo trip, and even she did an international one, which is even more exciting to hear about because that is a big leap of faith to take that if you've never gone solo travel before. So, Leigh, I'm so glad you're here and I would love to actually hear kind of an origin story of really what made you desire to take a solo trip.

Speaker 2:

Well, first of all, thank you for having me. I love your show, so this is really neat to actually be a guest on it. Yes, well, I mean, I always wanted to take a trip by myself. I don't really know why, other than there's not always somebody to go with you, you know.

Speaker 2:

And so I just felt like I wish I was brave enough, you know, because I would see other people doing it and I guess I would go to you know all the bad things that could happen and that would sort of scare me away, you know.

Speaker 1:

Well, let's talk about those bad feelings, cause I know that's you're not alone in that. A lot of people, I think sometimes that's what prevents them from actually going on a solo trip. But you somehow were able to overcome those, uh, those bad ideas or feelings that you were having. What were some of them that you had to overcome?

Speaker 2:

Well, you know, just feeling like you don't have somebody with you is are you going to be safe? You know how's it going to be eating out at a restaurant by yourself, and you know going to somewhere that you've never been before. Is that somewhere?

Speaker 1:

that you've never been before is that? Is it going to be like you think it is? You know, right? Yeah, we all have these built-up expectations, a lot of you know, when we travel or any kind of event. And well, just just out of curiosity, did your expectations, did they get met by going where you went? They?

Speaker 2:

did get met. I think what I mean by that is you watch it. Like one way that I get ready to go somewhere is I'll watch YouTube videos, and sometimes those can be deceiving. So I was worried that I would choose an area and then I would get there and you know, you spend all this money and you make all these plans and you get your time off work, and then you get there and it's not what you thought it was going to be, you know.

Speaker 2:

So I think I had a fear of that, for sure, okay even though where I ended up going is well known to be very beautiful, it's still's. It's a big place and there's lots of places to choose from once you get there.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

So I was scared. I would, you know, pick the wrong place.

Speaker 1:

Well, how did you decide where to go, and then you can share. Tell everybody where you went.

Speaker 2:

First of all, I went to New Zealand and the you know I think a lot of people want to go to New Zealand. You know it sounds kind of exotic and you know we know there's beaches there and mountains there and just beautiful scenery and landscape and you know lots of movies are filmed there and so people have an expectation of what what it's going to be like you know, expectation of what.

Speaker 2:

What it's going to be like you know. And so everyone I mean a lot of people want to go there, and I am signed up to these websites that will send you alerts when there are cheap airfares you know to know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 2:

So one day I happened to get an alert that there was one to New Zealand and I thought, wow, you know it was a really good deal. And you know I mulled it over and I went and talked to my husband about it and just really for the two of us to go, and he said I don't really think I can get off work then. And so I thought, okay, well then this will be my chance to go by myself somewhere. So I presented that idea to him. He was not super on board at first, not 100% against it, but also not real excited about that idea. But you know I did some convincing and, you know, presented why I thought this would be a good trip to go on solo and finally he was on board with it and I took the plunge and booked the trip.

Speaker 1:

That's amazing. Yes, as often we will get you know pushback from family members or friends about even taking a solo trip, so I love how you presented your case to him. Basically, I mean like that's amazing.

Speaker 2:

Well, I have. I have a job that can sometimes put me in danger and I I brought that up to him and I said you know, I do this every day. You never really, you know, say anything about it. I think sometimes my job can put me in more danger than flying to New Zealand by myself. So you know, that's what finally convinced him to to let me try this.

Speaker 1:

There you go. Yes, and um, you booked your long. Were you gone and where? Tell us a little bit more about what you did when you were there. I guess you know.

Speaker 2:

Well, I will say that I put off the planning of the trip. You know, I booked the airfare. When I finally decided to take the leap, I booked the airfare and then I just sort of put the planning on the back burner, cause, you know, life gets in the way. I have two kids, I have a job and I almost sort of I won't say I was in denial about it coming up, but it wasn't in the front of my mind, you know. And so finally I realized, you know, I'm leaving in a month and a half and I still have no accommodations. So that's when I really started, you know, watching videos. I do this thing when I'm trip planning that in the morning, when I'm getting ready for work, I'll put a YouTube video on of the place that I'm going to. You know, I'll find one that that looks, you know, like it might be informative and I'll watch that while I'm getting ready. And I found this place called Cathedral Cove and it sounded really neat.

Speaker 2:

Really neat place and some people may know it from. There was a scene from the Chronicles of Narnia where Cathedral the kids get sort of dropped off into Cathedral Cove and they start playing on the beach. That's where that is.

Speaker 2:

Oh see, I didn't even know that and it just looked really neat. And so I was like, well, where is that? And it happened to be in the North Island and I was like, oh, ok, I'll try to find that. So the trip started being planned around Cathedral Cove and it's actually located in a place called the Coromandel Peninsula, which is in the northeastern part of the North Island of New Zealand and there's so much to do around there. I thought you know what? I'm going to have a rental car. They drive on the opposite side of the road up there. I'm not real, you know, excited about driving a lot. So I thought I'm just going to get to my destination and sort of stay in that area, because there's enough to do on the Coromandel Peninsula to keep me there the whole time. And I thought I'll come back to New Zealand another time and explore the South Island with my husband, you know.

Speaker 1:

Great plan. Well, and, and most of the places I'm sure other people that travel a lot can attest like, when you go somewhere, you go to a country, you get to see such a little slice of it and there's so much to see, no matter where you go, honestly, and you can't see it all, and so I love the attitude of like I'll have to just come back, right, so there's just give me the reason to come back, exactly Something to look forward to. So I love how you know, you, you play, I done the same thing you book your flight and then figure everything out kind of after that. And I had that as actually a question. Somebody had asked you know, how do you do that? And well, that's how I start, the same way, you know, I booked the airline because usually I'm the same way I'm looking for a deal.

Speaker 1:

And I'm sure, when you found that deal, I did see a lot of New Zealand deals going around, so I understand, I know why you did it and kind of that's amazing that you took that leap Before you went. Though what were some of the feelings that you were having before you went?

Speaker 2:

Well, I had a few different feelings. You know one I had a little bit of guilt about taking the trip and sort of the financial aspect of it, because you know you're spending money on this trip. Even though I got a great deal, I still had to pay for accommodations, I still had to pay for food and you know whatever, you know expenditures you have on the trip. And we had just had to buy a new car because, you know, my husband and I drive cars until they're done, you know, know, and both of us had cars that neither one would you know would be reliable for an out of town trip.

Speaker 2:

So we just purchased a new car and I thought, oh, I don't really need to spend this money. And so I did have a little bit of guilt. And in the back of my mind too, it was that I could cancel that ticket and I could cancel my accommodations. Because whenever I book anything and this is a good tip for your listeners make sure you can cancel, you know, up to the last minute, because you just don't ever know what's going to happen. But I had that in the back of my mind too. You know I could cancel. I I had that in the back of my mind too, you know I could cancel. And but I also had in my mind well, I've told people, I'm going on this trip and I you know, I can't bear to say, I decided not to go you know that would be disappointing disappointing for you and maybe others right.

Speaker 2:

Exactly so I and I wanted to go so so you know I've tried to fight through that and justify and work a few extra hours you know, yeah, some spending money.

Speaker 2:

And then I also felt, I felt very anxious about driving on the opposite side of the road. You know, it's so against everything you've ever done, especially when you're over 50. You know, I'm 54. I've been driving a car for a long time. So, to think about, not only am I in charge of everything and all the details, but I'm also in charge of driving this car in a foreign country and it's going to be different than what I've always done. And so I have a friend who lived in Australia for a few years and she she tried to talk me through this fear and anxiety I was having, which was she was actually making it worse. Oh sorry, anxiety I was having, but she was actually making it worse. Oh sorry, no, actually she probably saved my life by giving me this advice. But but what I didn't realize is that you're not just on the other side of the road, but you're on the other side of the car.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yeah, exactly yeah.

Speaker 2:

And I never really thought about that. And when she brought that up to me I was like oh whoo, you know, and it just adds another element of, you know, confusion and, I don't know, fear to the whole thing. People. So it's not like I'm driving. Well, Tanya, I flew into Auckland. Okay, yeah, I had to pick the car up at the rental car, you know, at the airport, and then drive it from there into. I was staying in Auckland the first night and so I knew I had to get from the airport to my hotel and it was a little dicey, you know there is. What is so odd is to turn, to make a right hand turn, but you're not turning, you know, on the right hand side you have to pass by that.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, that was very difficult for me that. Oh yeah, but once I got the car parked I was so proud of myself.

Speaker 1:

you know, there you go.

Speaker 2:

See, yes, I was alive, and everyone that I had encountered was still alive. And, um, you know, I stayed in that hotel for the night and then the next day I knew, if I could just get to the interstate that I would be okay, because then everybody's moving the same direction. You know, you don't have anyone coming at you.

Speaker 1:

Correct, yes.

Speaker 2:

And so I was able to drive on the interstate for quite a while and then off on to a two lane road, and once I sort of got to the Airbnb, then I felt very accomplished and I thought you can do this. You just cannot let your guard down. You know you can't get comfortable at all. You have to be thinking at all times.

Speaker 1:

I think that's amazing. It's definitely you know something about even just doing a solo trip. You know you kind of build that, that confidence. You have to do things that you're not accustomed to, you're uncomfortable doing, and that is a huge one that you overcame. I love it. I've. I've been there as, as we discussed earlier, and I kept having to say you know, what is it?

Speaker 1:

Left, left, left you know, like, just like remind myself I'm on this side of the road, not this side, and I just you know, of course, when I got my rental car, that you have a choice to do automatic or manual well, there was no way. I mean, I know how to drive a manual, but there's no way I'm doing manual with my left hand yes, there's just no way, I know.

Speaker 2:

I thought the same thing. It's going to be hard enough just to drive an automatic transmission on the left side of the road. So right, let's take that factor out of it, correct?

Speaker 1:

enough to think about, like you said to have to, you know, drive on the other side thinking about how you're turning differently, you know because, of where you are on the road. But, yes, good for you. Yes, that's a huge one, it can be scary, but gosh, I feel like if you could do that, if you could do that and if you can navigate public transportation in like a big city that's not your like, maybe not your own country right, that you could tackle anything really that's.

Speaker 2:

that's also a big win. Yes, learning the train station bus, you know bus, bus terminal, all the scheduling and how to buy a ticket Correct, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so New. Zealand. How long were you there?

Speaker 2:

I was there for nine days and I did stay in. Besides the first night in Auckland, I stayed in three separate towns along the peninsula, so I just sort of split it up by really what was available, because it's their summertime.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Our seasons are flip-flopped because they're in the Southern Hemisphere. Correct and it's their summertime and of course I, you know, like I said, I had waited a little, probably too long to book my accommodation, so I was limited on what was left and I had to um, so I split it up. You know, a few days here, a few days, yeah, they're based on available, which I'm glad I did because I got to see more that way yes, yeah, would.

Speaker 1:

Um, what would you recommend for, say, somebody else going to New Zealand for the first time for something for them to do?

Speaker 2:

Well, what I will say is some of the things I read before I left were that if you're going to drive a car in New Zealand, don't underestimate the amount of time it will take you to get from point A to point B, because you know, at least in this country we're used to good straight.

Speaker 2:

You know paved roads, yeah, and you know that's not the case in New Zealand. The roads were fine, but not at all straight. And they will even warn you. In fact, the guy warned me at the rental car company. He said make sure you give yourself enough time because even though you see 30 kilometers written, you know, from this place to this place it's going to take you a lot longer than you think it will. And it was so true you know. So, to make sure that you plan and I guess to answer your question, you know, when I first started thinking about going, I was thinking well, I want to see the North Island and the South Island. And then, as I got closer to it and I started reading that about how long it takes you to get from point A to point B, I thought you know, I don't want to spend all my time driving.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, yeah time driving, driving, yeah, yeah, yeah, so I had. I will say my advice is to pick one of the islands and stay there and then maybe the next time you go back, you know, explore the other island, because unless you have a lot of time there, you know, if you have more than two weeks then you could probably you, you know see a lot of both islands. But I only had nine days and part of that was my travel days, yeah, exactly, yeah, so yeah, there's enough to see in the North Island and also there are two different landscapes.

Speaker 2:

The North Island is more beaches and what they call forests. There are mountains there but not like there are in the South Island. The South Island is more, you know, they have the highest point in New Zealand, which I think is Mount Cook, and then they also have, you know, fjords and glaciers and lots of rock climbing and hiking, a lot more sort of adventure stuff. Where the North Island is nice, long stretches of white sand beaches.

Speaker 1:

Okay, that's good to know. Yeah, so they have different landscapes.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and I'm a walker, you know, for exercise I like to walk, and in New Zealand they don't call it hiking, they call it walking, and they don't say they have a hiking trail, they say they have a walk Walking trail, yeah, or they have a hiking trail.

Speaker 1:

They say they have a walk Walking trail.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, or they call it tramping. You'll hear both Tramping oh. I like that. You'll hear both of those terms and so there was so many trails in the area of the Coromandel Peninsula that were coastal. You know you could just walk along the coastline and you know they may be up on a cliffside, but you can hear the water, you can see the water and it was just beautiful.

Speaker 1:

you know, right up my alley that's what I want gosh, that sounds perfect and I want to hike, so it was a perfect place to do both those things and did you realize that, before you booked your trip to new zealand, that this, this was, um you know, activities that you could do, that you enjoyed, were going to be available in New Zealand?

Speaker 2:

I think I had an idea of it, but I didn't. I did not know all of that about the differences in the two islands. You know, I really had to study that when I was trying to determine you know where it was that I was going to go, because I just knew I didn't want to move around a whole lot. You know, a lot of people who had been to the South Island said, oh, you should have seen the South Island. And I just thought I'm sure that it's beautiful and I want to go back and check that out. But I did not want to spend a whole bunch of time, you know, traveling from one place to another and I'm glad I did it the way I did. I felt like I got to experience a lot of the North.

Speaker 2:

Island and also it was warmer in the North Island. You know that's.

Speaker 1:

That's a different concept, for, oh yeah, the South Island is colder than well, that kind of makes sense if you think about where the equator is right.

Speaker 2:

We just have to remember exactly yes, and they were having a cool summer. You know, it never got out of the 70s when I was there oh that sounds perfect. It was perfect, and I I was talking to there was a family on the beach one day, and what the man had, um, he had seen a stingray in the water, and so they wanted to alert me to that you know, so they called me over and they were showing it to me and um, and so then we he asked where I was from, you know, and and we just struck up a conversation.

Speaker 2:

But I said isn't it your summertime? And he said yes, and I said it doesn't get over 70 degrees during the day, and he said well, this is a very mild summer for us. Usually it does, but you know that summer in particular was super nice, so I definitely chose the right time to go yeah, you got lucky.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I did get lucky.

Speaker 2:

And also, it never rained while I was there. I couldn't believe it.

Speaker 1:

Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 2:

I was so lucky.

Speaker 1:

Oh, that sounds amazing. While you were there, did you have any I call them serendipitous or unexpected experiences that happened that you'd like to share?

Speaker 2:

Yes, actually, one of the videos that I watched before I went over was of a place called Donut Island, and that's not the traditional New Zealand word for it, but that's you. Just Google Donut Island, you'll see it.

Speaker 2:

And I had watched it, you know, probably at least a month before I left. So I had oh, that was so cool, you know, maybe I should try to do that when I'm there. And then I sort of forgot about it. Well then, when I was there, I remembered it and I thought well, I wonder where that is. So I Googled it and happened to be in the town where I was staying. Oh my gosh, yes, that's amazing. I thought. Okay, I've got to do it.

Speaker 1:

And what?

Speaker 2:

it is meant to be. It's a volcano that has collapsed into the water, and so you're left with just sort of the rim of the volcano and it's open at the top. So there's a cave opening that you would paddle your kayak into and then you're inside this beautiful turquoise lagoon, I know, and there's, the trees are growing around the edge of the volcano and the sunlight is coming through the top and it's just amazing. But the crazy thing is that the video I watched, all it showed was the people inside that you know lagoon, and so it didn't really give you the information that you needed. That it's not a very safe thing to do to get into and out of the lagoon. Oh okay, it can be very difficult depending on you know, the conditions of the water that day, you know. If it's, you know the tide is low, then you're probably good. But if the waves are crashing against the volcanic walls, you know, then it's a little difficult.

Speaker 2:

And so I went to this. Of course I had no idea about so all I knew was that I was going to paddle into this beautiful little lagoon, you know, and so I went to the key. There's a kiosk that was by the beach where you could go rent your kayak and you could either pay a guide to take you in or you could paddle on your own. Well, I'm sort of budget conscious, you know, and I thought, oh, I can do this by myself, I do not need a guide. It was an extra 70 New Zealand dollars, which really worked out to about 40 US, so I probably should have paid for the guide.

Speaker 1:

But oh, but you sound like me. I would have done the same thing.

Speaker 2:

I know I can do it. I can do it. So, and actually the gentleman who was renting the kayaks out, he did ask me do you have any experience with the kayak? And I said, yes, I, I have a kayak and I live across the street from a lake, you know. But a lake is much different than the ocean yes, yes and he just immediately said oh, you can handle it.

Speaker 2:

You know, he was just convinced that, just from what I had told him, I would be fine on my own, and so they sort of gave me a little um tutorial, you know, about how to make sure that my kayak didn't capsize as I'm heading my gosh, they actually said oh talk about inciting fear in you which made me a little nervous, but I still sort of dismissed it a little, because if you just looked out at the water, it didn't look too bad, you know.

Speaker 2:

Okay, then as you get closer and closer to that island, you can see the water just crashing up against it. And it's not a very wide opening, it's only it's about as wide as your kayak paddle. And so I thought, well, I'm gonna do that, just right, you know, to get in there. And I'm telling you, I was just this close to saying forget it, because I was so nervous about you know getting what if a wave comes and smashes me up against the side of that volcano you know, I don't have a helmet on nobody's with me, you know by myself.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yeah, and so I was very close, to you know, turning around, and then I sort of had paddled far enough up where I caught a glimpse of the inside of that lagoon and I thought, no, I'm dead.

Speaker 1:

Can't pass that up.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so I waited. I actually watched the water for quite a while and I could see that there would be, you know, several crashes of waves and then there would be a little bit of calm and there was a pattern I noticed and so I thought, okay, if I can time it just right and I can catch that little calm stretch of time, I can get into that lagoon. And that's what I did. You know, I waited, I waited for my moment and when I saw it I just paddled, you know, paddled away and made it. Just as I get into the opening, a wave comes up, but it just sort of lifts me up and carries me right inside.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and so I came in a little fast and there were people in there and I might have crashed into somebody's kayak, but it was okay, they were nice they were. They were okay about it.

Speaker 1:

But and they understood, but it was magical.

Speaker 2:

You know it was I. At that point I I did wish that I had, you know, somebody there with me, you know, and and I I wanted a picture of myself in that, in that lagoon, and there was a guy, there was a guide in there who had guided um a couple in and he said if you will hand me your phone, I'll take a picture of you. And he did. But I was so I was so nervous to hand in my phone because I thought this where's he gonna go, though?

Speaker 1:

I mean, that's all that. You're like, you're in this, I was worried I was gonna drop it.

Speaker 2:

I was in the water, and then it would just be gone you know.

Speaker 2:

so I just held on to it with two hands and handed it to him and he was sweet. He backed up in his in his kayak and took a few pictures of me. So I do have a picture of me in there. Oh, that's amazing. Once I got inside, they were on their way out and then there was a guide and two other people, so for a minute there were six of us and then two left and then I got scared to go out. Same, you had the same issue going out, and so I looked at the guide and I said how long are you guys going to be in here?

Speaker 1:

I would have done the same thing.

Speaker 2:

Just follow them out, right, when you go out. And he said, oh, we're going to be in here for a while, and I said, okay, so he, he sensed immediately what I was getting at, I'm sure.

Speaker 1:

Yes, and he wasn't getting paid for your time.

Speaker 2:

Well, yeah, and they do this special thing where they do this traditional tea time with if you pay for the guide.

Speaker 2:

you know they have all these and I think they were sort of wanting to do that in there. And so I I said well, you know I was, I was just going to follow you out. And he said here's what you do. You know, he knew I was nervous to go out of the cave and he said I want you to. You know, wait till you see that calm moment, just like you did on the way in. And then, when you do, paddle as hard as you can. He said you're going to make a right hand turn, but don't turn too quickly, because then a wave can catch you and push you, push you against yeah.

Speaker 2:

So he did give me a push and he said you know, paddle for quite a while straight out and then, once you feel like you have enough room, then make a right and head back towards the beach. So that's what I did, and it that was.

Speaker 1:

That was nice of him.

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh I was so glad that I had done it, though and I I really am I'm glad that I did not know about the danger of trying to get in and out of that cave, because I probably would not have done it you know, if I didn't know ahead of time, I guess, in some instances, ignorance is bliss but I'm glad you did it.

Speaker 1:

Honestly Again, you conquered some fears unbeknownst to you, honestly right.

Speaker 2:

And I would definitely recommend it. But I would recommend paying that extra $40 for anyone who's going. It is worth it to have someone with you that just sort of knows the right timing and you know can, can give you all the you know confidence that you need to get in there.

Speaker 1:

Perfect, I love that advice, cause that's actually a segue to my next question is, like with your trip to New Zealand, what would do differently? Would you do anything differently?

Speaker 2:

um, I don't know if I'd do anything. I may have ventured out a little from that Coromandel Peninsula.

Speaker 2:

There is another place called the Bay of Islands, which is further north, and I guess you would say it was probably more northwest of Auckland, whereas the Coromandel is east and I really wanted to go there. They say that you can spot dolphins pretty easily from there and if I had it to do over I probably would spend some time in the Coromandel and then head to that Bay of Islands and spend some time there. But it is a more remote area and so that sort of scared me away a little bit.

Speaker 2:

You know I thought oh, you know I'm already a little nervous about being by myself and this is you know, this area looks very remote, but after being there and seeing it and seeing how, how the people are so welcoming and you know, nobody, nobody's really paying attention to you. You know, like it's true, they're going through their own lives and, yes, if you're there, great, and if you're not, they don't really notice either way. So if I I had it to do over, I would probably go to that Bay of Islands. Because when I got back, one of my friends came up to me and said oh, I saw your pictures on Instagram. You went to New Zealand. Did you go to the Bay of Islands? You know, that was the first thing out of her mouth. I went, no, I didn't.

Speaker 1:

But I'll go next time. Next time, Right, and you, it sounds like, as you recommended, that you know maybe allowing more time if you plan to see. You know both parts of the island. You know the North and the South part, but even just in general, I mean, it sounds like you could have also just spent a few more days in the North part of the you know the northern island part.

Speaker 2:

oh, definitely there's so much I didn't see um I think the whole west coast is a whole different look and I would have loved to have gone over there. There's also a very famous um place inland where they filmed some of lord of the rings, and so I probably would have made that stop. A lot of people asked me if I went there and I'm not a big lord of the rings fan, and so I probably would have made that stop. A lot of people asked me if I went there and I'm not a big Lord of the Rings fan, so I didn't carve out the time for that, but it did look neat. You know, I did hear people say whether you are or are not a fan. This is a cool little place to go. I think it's called Hobbit Town. Oh my gosh. Of course I'm sure there's many, many places, and there was, um, there was a macadamia farm.

Speaker 2:

That macadamia nut farm that I was next to and I didn't know anything about it. And as I was leaving, I was reading a little book on where I was and I went oh my gosh, I was right next to that. There, there's so much to do and see and there is Absolutely, you can see it all.

Speaker 1:

No, you can't.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but I did make a good effort at it and still had a good time. I did a lot of hiking. I saw a lot of beaches. There was a really cool beach called New Chums Beach and the only way that you could get there was either to hike in or to boat in, and so the Airbnb host that I had at the first stop recommended it. They had a little book of recommended walks. You know, as I say, an air box yes, not, not hikes not hikes.

Speaker 2:

That was one of them, and I had heard a little something about it before I left, but I thought it was going to be a lot further away than where I wasn't actually wasn't, you know, it was only about a 30 minute drive away, so I thought I'm going to. I'm going to do that, and that was really awesome because it was hard to get to and it was just the most beautiful secluded beach, and so I probably spent two hours there and there was never more than 12 other people on that beach. It was just lovely.

Speaker 2:

It was a picnic, with me and my knitting. I'm a knitter, so I was just as happy as I could be.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh. So I mean it sounds like you would be up for doing another solo trip.

Speaker 2:

Sounds like you would be up for doing another solo trip, Absolutely. When I got back I felt so accomplished, I felt just sort of liberated. You know, it was just now. I can go on these trips by myself and of course I'm going to choose, you know, somewhere that is safe you know, yeah, like I love your shows where that you do on just suggestions on where to go.

Speaker 2:

Those are my favorite ones because it gives you ideas on areas that are safe for solo female travelers. And you know, I've got them on my list now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

You know, I mean New Zealand was absolutely perfect for me because it's an English speaking country, Correct, and also it had all the things I love, you know water, hiking, good food, nice people. I was happy.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I've heard all that about New Zealand and Australia as well, Like how wonderful it is, the people, lots to do, like lots of different like you said you experienced or could have.

Speaker 1:

You know, that's one of the reasons I advocate for solo travel, right, Because I want women to have the confidence to go. Obviously, but and you mentioned freedom use the word freedom, it's one of my words, I feel when I do solo travel as well. So you know, I'm so impressed because that was a huge step for you to take such courage and I'm hoping that what you've shared today has really inspired other women, because we have a real life story about you going for your very first solo trip internationally. I might add, Right, and I also want to add folks that you know Lee is married, as she mentioned before, so you don't have to be single to do a solo trip, and for her it was just, you know she advocated to go, so she had to. You know, pitch that to her husband and other, probably friends or family, and you know she picked a good, safe place.

Speaker 1:

You know to get her research, and so look, she is a testimony of just how amazing a solo trip could be. And even though you got a little scared there with the kayaking thing you overcame that and look at the beauty that you saw. I mean I, I'm going to have to have you send me one of those pictures of you in the in the volcano Cause I haven't seen it.

Speaker 1:

That would be amazing. So any other like tips? Since you've done your first solo trip, is there anything you wish? You knew beforehand that you kind of have figured out now.

Speaker 2:

You know, I think I will say, and the fact that you brought up the point that I'm married, say, and the fact that you brought up the point that I'm married, I'm married to a very capable person and he's one of those guys that can fix anything and anything that breaks, you know, whether it's your computer or your washing machine, or your car breaks down. And so we've been married for over 20 years and I felt like I had lost some of my independence, almost a little, because we all the kids and I, we all defer to dad. If something breaks, dad can fix it and he's always the driver. When we go on a trip, he's always the driver, and so for me it was regaining some of that.

Speaker 2:

I didn't realize how much I relied on him, you know, until I was by myself, and, and and that's really you know I lived by myself for eight years before we got married, and so when you're by yourself, you have to do everything yourself. You don't have anyone else to do that stuff for you, and so that was difficult for me at first, and you know, and I even shot him a text and said you know, one thing I've learned is that I take you for granted and that I rely on you too much, and so it's good for you, you know, even if you are married, to have this time apart where you can sort of, you know, appreciate each other and appreciate your family, because when you're all together all the time you sort of take each other for granted.

Speaker 2:

So that sort of surprised me.

Speaker 1:

I love that nugget of wisdom. Actually I don't know if it's some sort of research they've done. But couples that it can relate to travel, but couples that have their own sort of maybe an activity that they do by themselves are have healthier marriages like when they have that time whether like you said, whether it's like I'm going to take a trip, you know, maybe they take a trip or they do something else, or they have their guy friends, you have your girlfriends, you know.

Speaker 1:

So I, I I believe that's what you've just experienced is also gonna potentially, you know, like you said, gives you an appreciation for your husband, right? I love it, Love it, yeah.

Speaker 2:

But I do. I do have two tips for your list.

Speaker 1:

Yes, please.

Speaker 2:

Okay and they're. They're pretty basic, but if you're by yourself, you know, are you nervous about being by yourself somewhere? I always walk with purpose. Do you know what I mean by that?

Speaker 1:

Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 2:

Don't be aloof, don't be on your phone, don't look like you're lost, correct, look like you know where you're going and you know what you're doing, because those people are much less likely to be bothered by someone else or to be approached by someone else. And then the other thing is when I was 18 and my older brother, ben he's six years older than me and I was about to leave to go to college Shout out to another Texan, ben.

Speaker 1:

Oh yay.

Speaker 2:

He didn't come home for my high school graduation and so he wanted to give me a piece of advice and I've taken it with me my whole life and he's very short but wise piece of advice, lee don't ever put yourself in a stupid situation, and I'm going to put a little spin on it for adults Don't ever put yourself in an unsafe situation. You know. So. If you have a feeling, you know especially women, they have this intuition If you feel like maybe you shouldn't walk down that street, then maybe you shouldn't walk down that street.

Speaker 2:

You know, listen to your inner voice and just sort of have common sense when you travel.

Speaker 1:

I love it. How true. It's kind of my motto too. Oh, yes, I love it. Well, lee, this has been fabulous. It's been very encouraging and enlightening. I have to. I guess I need to put New Zealand on my list, I mean you know, so I have a top 10 list and since I'll be able to cross one of those off, I'll have to add New Zealand in there now. So now I'll still have 10.

Speaker 2:

But you know for sure, it's always shifting and changing, but yes, oh yeah, same with me. But you know that that's good. That'll just give us more trips to go on.

Speaker 1:

Exactly. I love it and I'm really hoping your story encourages other women to do the same, to get out there, take that leap and, just you know, do that solo trip, especially if they haven't yet. I love it. Thank you so much for your also your wisdom and everything that you shared here today. I think it's definitely you know worthy of you know, just everybody listening. I'm so thrilled. Thank you for being on my show.

Speaker 2:

Of course, thanks for having me on. I had a blast.

Speaker 1:

Oh, awesome. Well, I hope you were truly inspired by Lee's testimony her story about her first solo trip to New Zealand and I hope you get out there and do the same. But if you are still feeling stuck and have this fear, anxiety, feel overwhelmed with the whole thought of doing a solo trip, for whatever reason, I want you to book a call with me so that I can, you know, help, guide you through that process. We can connect and make this a reality for you. And, who knows, maybe you will be my next guest sharing your story of your first solo trip.

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Cheryl Esch

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